Humpty Groovin’

We decided to groove to the jams of DJ Ribbz who is the guest DJ that day at Candystore, Union Street after an exhilarating photography session. As usual Dave, the manager of the Candystore allow free entries for me and the fellas into the club. The club was semi-packed with lotsa 50 Cent & Nelly wannabe dudes with white & bright flashing urbanwear such as Phat Farm, Fubu, Nike where you can name one randomly and have one brassin’ it. Its enough to blind your eye before you even tripped down the dancefloor in that densed environment.

I grab a few drinks with the guys & head to the dance floor. The song was hip and cool, cos the DJ is playin’ 90’s ol’ skool hiphop, and guess what, with one of my long time favorites from LL Cool J’s ‘Doin’ It’ (from Mrs.Smith LP) was on air really does make the crowd go frenzy & wild! We eyed for our favorite spot on the west side of the dance floor and there we spotted an uninteresting sight that readers might not wanna know.

There we saw, an entity which is round in size, black attire, bare footed dudette weighed roughly 22 stone, so untempting makin some ‘humpty groove’ swaying from side to side rigorously banging everyone off like a bowl to a pin. The aura was so strong on that entity that it created a ‘halo’ around her with everyone dancin’ at least a yard away from her ‘halo’, otherwise will risk being banged and ‘gagged’ alive within her grotesque Beyonce-get-smacked-in-the-arse-moves. Her grind with her eyes close (high on drugs it seems) add more to the scare & terror as she encircles the dancefloor from west to the east, to the centre and back to the spot only to find 50 Cent & 50 pence & da hommies disappeared out of sight.

She intimidated Seon who stood beside us reluctantly dancing cos he was busy monitoring her movements & makin’ risk assessments of the possibility of our circle being hit by this ‘meteorite’. Seon’s calculations was so accurate cos this ‘entity’ eventually switched on to ‘hyper-mode’ start swaying to the direction of Seon barely missing him in seconds. Quick-witted & agile, Seon manoeuvred further with a startled face & a sigh of relief. We laughed our guts out indefinitely cos Seon’s facial expression obviously showed how freaked out he was!

The pattern continued but became less and less hostile in our final hours. The ‘entity’ disappeared out of sight after that, & that was the best time to dance in peace to Sean Paul’s grooves.

We danced to the last beat at 2.30am and dismissed soon after that.

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