Is This Familiar?

So does this text below familiar? (Please be warned that this entry contains vulgarity that might offend some & inappropriate for minors)

Reference/link to clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FctMuabHk3s

Bus Uncle: Get off the bus right now! Don’t, don’t stay on the bus.
Elvis: Not necessary.
Bus Uncle: If not necessary Why must you pat on my shoulder? I’m talking on the phone. You, you . . .
Elvis: Boss!
Bus Uncle: Hey, don’t call me boss. It’s fair, you don’t know me, I don’t know you.
Bus Uncle: Why must you do that? Why must you do that?!!
Bus Uncle: Hey! Everyone in the society has pressure. Why you are doing something so unfair?
Bus Uncle: Should I have some words for you?
Elvis: I think your voice is abit too loud.
Bus Uncle: Did I touch you when I am talking with you right now?
Elvis: So what do you want now?
Bus Uncle: What I want you to do now is to apologize!
Elvis: Sorry then.
Bus Uncle: What sorry then? Am I saying correctly or you? You say..
Elvis: You just wanna..
Bus Uncle: Huh?
Elvis: You just wanna save face, sorry boss.
Bus Uncle: I don’t wanna save face.
Elvis: I think..
Bus Uncle: Hey! Firstly, I didn’t disturb your phone conversation. Why did you blame me for talking too loudly?
Bus Uncle: It’s simple, I didn’t disturb you. Am I correct? So what now?
Elvis: Nothing happened actually..is just that simple.
Bus Uncle: What happen to you then? So what do you actually want now? Um..
Bus Uncle: I just want to settle it with you.
Elvis: Is actually settled already is that simple.
Bus Uncle: Unsettled yet.
Elvis: Settled.
Bus Uncle: Not yet!
Elvis: Settled.
Bus Uncle: Not yet!!! We have to settle this together is just that simple!
Bus Uncle: I am having conversations on the phone, yet i did not complain about you. What did you complain about me?
Elvis: You are just too loud.
Bus Uncle: Hey! You were also on the phone, did I ever complain you for talking loudly till interrupting others?
Bus Uncle: Both of us were on the phone. Talking on the phone would definitely generate noise.
Bus Uncle: But your voice, our voice is just about the same.
Elvis: Sure?
Bus Uncle: Yes! Did I complain about you?
Bus Uncle: How about you? You wanna pick fights don’t you, mother fucker!
Bus Uncle: Are you really a bigshot now?
Bus Uncle: I have pressure. You’ve pressure. Why did you aggress me?
Elvis: Sorry then.
Bus Uncle: Sorry What? Apologise now!
Elvis: Sorry!
Bus Uncle: Much louder!
Elvis: Sorry!
Bus Uncle: Now don’t do that again next time I warn you!
Bus Uncle: Give me your hand.
Elvis: Not necessary.
Bus Uncle: Why not necessary!!? You don’t agree?
Elvis: I already apologised.
Bus Uncle: Apologies must be made by shaking hands! Apologies without handshake are meaningless!
Elvis: Not necessary.
Bus Uncle: Why is it not necessary!!?
Elvis: No need.
Bus Uncle: No handshake means it is not been dealt!
Elvis: (Laughs)
Bus Uncle: No handshake means it is not been dealt..right? Not dealt must be made till it was dealt!
Bus Uncle: I was on the phone then you interrupted me, did I interrupt you when you were on the phone?
Bus Uncle: Fuck, I am agitated right now. Why the hell you’re patting on me you mother fucker!
Bus Uncle: When I talk you also wanna talk. What the hell you know about me? I fuck your mom!
Bus Uncle: Hey! You apologised but didn’t proceed with the handshake! What!? Is not settled yet!
Elvis: Okay! I give . . . give way to you.
Bus Uncle: Fine! I remind you again don’t do that again next time ok?
Elvis: Fine.
Bus Uncle: As for others, you’ll be punched.
Elvis: If destiny allow, we may meet someday again.
Bus Uncle: If destiny allow. So next time don’t! Don’t disturb me again & I won’t disturb you too. Okay?
Elvis: Okay.
Bus Uncle: We both have pressure, is that fine?
Elvis: Okay.
Bus Uncle: What? If you wanna fight I welcome fight any time.
Elvis: Not necessary.
Bus Uncle: Not necessary then is settled!
Elvis: We gentlemen don’t condone fighting.
Bus Uncle: No! Talking to you is damn irritating already! You patted my shoulder on my shoulder when I was on the phone!
Elvis: Don’t tell me I should pat your head instead?
Bus Uncle: You patted on my shoulder why? You’ve just apologised is not a problem.
Bus Uncle: But, you patted on my shoulder means you are interrupting me, that is why I interrupt you back right?
Bus Uncle: That is why I cursed you mother fucker! Right or not?
Bus Uncle: So, now we are settled alright.
Elvis: Nevertheless, please don’t relate my mom in your fucking business.
Bus Uncle: If not mother-fucking who should I fuck?
Elvis: Now, I warn you . . .
Bus Uncle: I fuck your mom, is my dick dangling in your mom’s private place?
Bus Uncle: This is typical ‘Chinese Swear Words’!
Elvis: Now!
Bus Uncle: I love to fuck.
Elvis: Now!
Bus Uncle: And my dick is not in your mom’s private place.
Elvis: I warn you.
Bus Uncle: You warn me for what buddy!? Why are you warning me when we’ve already shaken hands?
Bus Uncle: What do you want again?
Elvis: It’s been dealt.
Bus Uncle: Dealt? You said its been dealt then why do you still want to warn me for what?
Bus Uncle: I have great pressure. And we’ve shaken hands already.
Bus Uncle: Dealt? You said its been dealt then why do you still want to warn me for what??
Bus Uncle: Whats the outcome will be now then? Right buddy? Its meaningless, right? We have already shaken hands.
Elvis: I tell you, this is our two-person’s issue, please don’t involve others.
Bus Uncle: Involve or not its not a problem! You like to fuck, just fuck. I like to fuck, i’ll just fuck.
Bus Uncle: Fucking people is not harmful Fucking here & there is not like throwing you a punch in the face right?
Bus Uncle: So now is settled then is settled, don’t warn me again.
Bus Uncle: You warned me for what? I am not fucking scared! Is fucking big pressure, don’t you know?
Bus Uncle: You understand now?
Elvis: Settled!
Bus Uncle: You don’t warn again, its been dealt! Understand?
Bus Uncle: You warning me means it was not settled yet. We have settled ok? We’ve shaken hands, okay?
Elvis: Fine! No more words with you!
Bus Uncle: Why the fuck you are warning me? Aren’t you settled yet?! Fuck.
Elvis: Answer your bloody phone!
Bus Uncle: Hello hello, yes yes yes..

Atas permintaan member-member yang tak paham bahasa Kantonis Bus Uncle keparat tu, ini dia versi Bahasa Melayu Pakcik/Apek Bas yang fofuler beberapa bulan lalu. Kepada siapa yang tak reti Bahasa, boleh belah. Translasi dibuat sepenuhnya oleh empunya belog ini. Kalu ada salah silap, mohon jari sebelas mohon maap. Artikel dibawah mengandungi unsur-unsur bahasa yang boleh menyinggung perasaan (atau perasan) si pembaca. Kalau takut tersinggung, tekan je punat ‘x’ kat kanan belah atas. Kalu tak tau punat tu kat mana, tekan F1 pastu boleh pi Sepang free. 😀
Pakcik: Turun kereta sekarang! Jangan kau dok dalam bas!
Budak: Tak perlu.
Pakcik: Kalau tak perlu kenapa kau tepuk bahu aku? Kan aku tengah cakap kat talipon?
Budak: Bos..
Pakcik: Hei, jangan kau panggil aku bos. Kan adil, kau tak kenal aku, aku tak kenal kau!
Pakcik: Kenapa kau buat camtu? Kenapa kau buat camtu hah?!
Pakcik: Hei, semua orang kat masyarakat ni ada tekanan. Kenapa kau berlaku tidak adil?
Pakcik: Kau memang nak pekena ni!
Budak: Saya rasa suara pakcik terlalu kuat.
Pakcik: Ada aku usik kau masa aku tengah bercakap dengan kau?
Budak: Habis pakcik nak apa sekarang?
Pakcik: Apa aku nak kau lakukan sekarang ialah mintak maap!
Budak: Maap la.
Pakcik: Maap apa maap? Kan aku cakap yang benar kan! Kau nie!!
Budak: Pakcik nak jaga air muka je kan?
Pakcik: Bukan nak jaga air muka!
Budak: Ingatkan..
Pakcik: Hoi, pertama, aku tak kacau pun masa kau cakap kat talipon. Kenapa kau nak tuduh aku buat bising hah!?
Pakcik: Mudah kan? Aku tak kacau kau pun, betul tak? Camana sekarang??
Budak: Tak ada apa-apa pun. Senang cerita je.
Pakcik: Kau camana hah? Kau nak buat camana sekarang? Aku nak kasi selesaikan sekarang jugak!
Budak: Kan dah selesai? Senang jelah..
Pakcik: Belum selesai!
Budak: Selesai dah.
Pakcik: Belum!!
Budak: Selesai.
Pakcik: Belum selesai. Kita kena selesaikan sama-sama sekarang jugak!
Pakcik: Aku tengah cakap kat talipon. Cakap talipon mestilah ada bunyi bising!
Pakcik: Bunyi kau sama aku lebih kurang saja!
Budak: Pasti?
Pakcik: Iya lah! Bila masa aku cari pasal dengan kau?!
Pakcik: Camana sekarang? Kau nak cari gaduh ya pukimak kau!
Pakcik: Tunjuk besar kepala ya?! Samseng sangat?!
Pakcik: Kau ada tekanan aku ada tekanan. Kenapa kau carik pasal dengan aku?
Budak: Maap la.
Pakcik: Maap apa! Maap betul betul lah!
Budak: Maap.
Pakcik: Kuat sikit!
Budak: Maap!
Pakcik: Baik lain kali jangan buat lagi aku ingatkan kau!
Pakcik: Baklah tangan!
Budak: Tak perlu la.
Pakcik: Apa tak perlu!? Kau tak setuju!?
Budak: Kan saya dah mintak maap?
Pakcik: Maap kena salam! Maap yang tak bersalam tak ada makna!
Budak: Rasanya tak perlu la.
Pakcik: Kenapa tak perlu?
Budak: Betul tak perlu.
Pakcik: Belum salam maknanya belum selesailah!
Budak: *ketawa*
Pakcik: Takde salam maknanya belum selesai betul tak? Tak selesai kena bawak sampai selesai!
Pakcik: Aku tengah cakap talipon kau kacau aku. Ada aku kacau kau cakap talipon?
Pakcik: Pukimak, aku dah bengang dah nih! Kau usik bahu aku buat apa pukimak kau!
Pakcik: Bila aku cakap kau nak mencelah! Kau kenal aku baik sangat ke pukimak betul lah kau!
Pakcik: Kau dah mintak maap tapi tak salam. Apa? Camtu belum lagi selesai!
Budak: Baik la, baik la ikut suka pakcik
Pakcik: Baik! Aku ingatkan kau sekali lagi jangan buat camtu!
Budak: Baik.
Pakcik: Kalau orang lain aku dah kasi penumbuk dah!
Budak: Kalau ada takdir, kita kan berjumpa lagi. Tak baik bermusuhan.
Budak: Ya, kalau di takdirkan. Jadi lain kali jangan. Jangan kacau aku, aku tak kacau kau. paham?
Budak: Baik.
Pakcik: Kita semua ada tekanan, paham?
Budak: Baik lah.
Pakcik: Apa hal? Kalau nak gaduh, bila-bila masa je mari lah!
Budak: Tak perlu lah.
Pakcik: Kalau tak perlu maknanya dah selesai!
Budak: Kita orang beradab sopan tak payah gaduh gaduh.
Pakcik: Tak! Cakap dengan kau pun buat bengang aku je! Kan kau usik aku masa aku tengah talipon!
Budak: Takkanlah saya nak usik kepala pakcik?
Pakcik: Tapi kau usik bahu aku kenapa?! Kan kau dah mintak maap bukan hal pun..
Pakcik: Kau usik bahu aku maksudnya kau sengaja mengganggu aku lah, sebab itu aku kacau kau balik!
Pakcik: Sebab tu aku carut pukimak kat kau! Betul tak?
Pakcik: Sekarang kita dah kasi selesai baik?
Budak: Tapi janganlah sekali sekali melibatkan mak saya dalam carutan tadi!
Pakcik: Kalau bukan kongkek mak kau, kongkek siapa lagi?
Budak: Jaga jaga mulut tu
Pakcik: Aku kongkek mak kau bukannya konek aku tergantung kat benda mak kau!
Pakcik: Inikan carutan orang China!
Budak: Jangan..
Pakcik: Aku suka kongkek! Tapi konek aku bukannya tergantung kat benda mak kau pun!
Budak: Jaga-jaga bahasa tu.
Pakcik: Kau nak ingatkan aku apa lagi kawan! Buat apa ingatkan aku lagi padahal kau dah salam!
Pakcik: Kau nak apa lagi?
Budak: Ok baik, kita dah selesai.
Pakcik: Selesai? Kau cakap dah selesai, tapi kau masih nak ingatkan aku!?
Pakcik: Kan aku ada tekanan hidup besar!? Kita dah salam pun!
Pakcik: Nak camana lagikan kawan? Tak ada maksud! Kita dah salam pun!
Budak: Saya nak kasi tau pakcik yang ni hal kitorang berdua, tolong jangan libatkan orang lain.
Pakcik: Libat ke tak bukan masalah! Kalau kau suka kongkek, kongkek je la! Aku suka kongkek, ikut suka aku lah!
Pakcik: Kongkek orang bukanya naya orang pun! Suka hati aku kongkek ke sana ke mari bukannya aku kasi penumbuk kat muka engkau pun!
Pakcik: Baik, sekarang dah selesai, jangan kau ingatkan aku lagi.
Pakcik: Kau ingatkan aku buat apa, aku tak takut pun! Tekanan hidup aku besar! Kau tau tak?
Pakcik: Kau paham?
Budak: Selesai dah!
Pakcik: Kalau kau ingatkan aku lagi maksudnya belum selesai. Kita dah selesai sekarang baik! Dah salam pun!
Budak: Baiklah, saya tak ada apa yang nak diperkatakan lagi!
Pakcik: Kenapa kau nak ingatkan aku lagi? Kan dah selesai?! Puki betul!
(talipon dering)
Budak: Jawap la talipon tu! Hampeh!
Pakcik: (jawap talipon) Hello, ya baik baik baik.